A colleague of mine just told me that her son had a horrific first day at school - kindergarten to be exact - and let Mom and Dad know that he did not want to return. Did he miss the comfort of his child care center which he'd attended for five years with all the familiar faces and places? Was this new school just too big and impersonal? Too many children for one teacher? We don't know but the 'first day' or 'first week' phenomenon is common. It occurs seasonally at elementary schools, throughout the year at early care and education centers, and daily in back-up centers.
For parents, it's a source of grief, worry, frustration and concern. Did I pick the right school? Does his teacher really care about him? How strong do I have to be to walk away? And how guilty should I feel when I'm gone? Often friends and family who have experienced this rite are the best resources on how to help a child through this crisis and how to help ourselves. And we've all heard the tales of the saddest little first day girl who becomes the valedictorian. So something tells us that we and our children will make it. What eases the pain?
For parents, it's a source of grief, worry, frustration and concern. Did I pick the right school? Does his teacher really care about him? How strong do I have to be to walk away? And how guilty should I feel when I'm gone? Often friends and family who have experienced this rite are the best resources on how to help a child through this crisis and how to help ourselves. And we've all heard the tales of the saddest little first day girl who becomes the valedictorian. So something tells us that we and our children will make it. What eases the pain?
- The kindness and interest of a teacher, a director, a principal.
- An assigned 'buddy' to help our child learn the new rules of the game.
- Clear instructions so that a child knows how and where he needs to be
- Great communication from the school or center to the parents plus someone who is available to answer any question.
- A caring boss who is glad to see us
- A 'buddy' who says, 'Let me show you around this place.' 'And let's get some coffee.'
- A first day/week plan
- Information on a 'just in time' basis; not too much, not too little? And someone checking in to see how we're doing.