We sat down with Rosalind Johnson, our very own Director of New Center Development and an Army veteran, to get her perspective on the challenges afflicting military families — physical risks, high stress and anxiety, and the mental impact of deployment on children — and her advice to active-duty service members.

Bright Horizons: Tell me a bit about your military background – what compelled you to serve?

Rosalind Johnson: My military experience started with being a military brat. As the daughter of an Air Force lieutenant colonel, I moved around a lot – so often in fact, that when I was in 7th grade, we moved while my father was deployed. He came home to the wrong house! 

My own military career started when I left college after my sophomore year. My father gave me a choice – get a job or join the service. I called his bluff and joined, and I absolutely loved it. Participating in an early release program, I was able to return to college and joined the ARMY ROTC at my school. When I graduated, I was commissioned as a 2LT Military Intelligence officer. All told, I served just shy of 4 years before beginning my new service project – being a mom.

BH: What was your family situation while you were serving? 

RJ: I married another soldier shortly after my commissioning, so we were a “dual military” family. We had two children while serving, but it wasn’t until we were both going to be deployed that we revisited our service commitments. When I got pregnant again, I opted to take an early release, which is a situation many military parents find themselves in. 

The sacrifice of service is fluid. It ebbs and flows depending on your family’s priorities and obligations. For my family, it made the most sense for me to change course in my career while my husband continued to serve. However, we now understand that families serve collectively, with the soldier. 

RJ: They were young, but their dad’s deployments were not hidden or revealed at the last minute. We talked about them, there was a calendar, and his military gear was out. After his first few days away, they settled into their own routines. Of course, there were days when frustrations or big emotions would arise, and I wouldn’t always know how to handle those feelings. I found the best thing to do was to stay calm and consistent with them. However, my pillow certainly got an earful on those days.

BH: What are the biggest challenges balancing military service and family life? 

RJ: There are certain things we know are beneficial to child development – continuity of care, consistency in routines and schedules, etc. Stability enables them to thrive. Unfortunately, the military can be anything but stable and carries a lot of inherent challenges – extended absences, untimely relocations, irregular schedules, financial hardships, lack of community support, and more. These are all disrupters that can make a family feel like they are in constant transition rather than on stable ground. 

BH: What emotions did you experience while deployed? How would you recommend other service members deal with similar concerns?

RJ: Just because you are no longer in the presence of your family doesn’t mean your feelings of responsibility go away. You love and miss them. You continue to worry if they are getting what they need and feel helpless because you are miles away. On top of that, you now have the focus of your new job, training, or mission – all while operating in a new environment. When you feel like that, it’s important to communicate with your spouse whenever you have the opportunity. If things get too overwhelming, seek outside help. 

BH: What advice would you give to the partner or spouse of a deployed military member?

RJ: Build a robust life doing the things that bring you joy. Military dependents can end up getting lost in the needs of the service member if they aren’t careful. Establish relationships and interests that belong to you. Life in a military family can sometimes seem like a long list of obligations. Enhance your time served by continuing to develop personally and or professionally. 

BH: What is the return-to-home transition like for both the service member and their family?

RJ: As an enlisted person, I was stationed in Germany. Frankly, it’s hard to be that far away. You feel like you’re missing out on important events, and you can start to mentally detach and compartmentalize your life into soldier and civilian. That adds another layer of distance. When you return, you almost have to get reacclimated to family life and re-learn how to be part of a group that has a different set of expectations for you than your team members. 

BH: Any final advice for active-duty military personnel and their families?

RJ: Given my experiences, I have five big pieces of advice for navigating military and family life:

1. Have a family plan or routine for before, during, and after deployment. By doing the pre-work in staying connected with your family while you’re home, you build healthy, long-term habits for when you’re deployed.
2. Practice scenarios and contingencies that may happen with your service member and alter your plan. What do we do if they have to leave earlier, come back later, miss milestones, etc.
3. Build your community of support now! Don’t wait for your service member to leave. Know the contacts, resources, and agencies available to you in case of emergency. 
4. Keep the lines of communication open and encourage your children, spouse, family members, and friends to share their feelings. I strongly believe that intentionality is the foundation to successful transitions.
5. Remember that you are still a family and staying connected takes work. Be kind to yourself.

There is no doubt that serving in the military is a sacrifice for all involved. However, I think of my time as the daughter of a soldier, a soldier, and a wife of a soldier as the best parts of my life journey. I traveled and met so many diverse people and experienced new cultures. I handled big challenges both on my own and in partnership with my family. And most of all, I served my country in a way that continues to make me proud today. 

Thank you so much to Rosalind for taking the time to speak with us and for her service to our country!