Is insisting on good table manners for kids old-fashioned? Not at all! More than knowing which fork to use, table manners teach children to behave in social situations, foster respect and consideration for others, and build self-confidence. According to Cindy Post Senning, co-author of Emily Post's “Table Manners for Kids” (Collins, May 2009), “Table manners are tools that can keep eating and mealtimes as pleasant as possible.  If you know how to hold your utensils, you're less likely to spill your food in your lap.” In other words, meal time is more enjoyable and more sanitary when we observe good manners. Plus, basic table etiquette for kids shows respect for your dining companions, be they royalty or relatives.

Aviva Goldfarb, family dinner expert and founder and CEO of the Six O’Clock Scramble, has come up with a list of the top 10 table manner tips for children that will likely help all of us get more enjoyment out of family dinners. Of course, depending on the age of your children, some of these goals may be too lofty; you may have to settle for having younger ones eat from the table and refrain from mashing food in their hair, or yours.

10 table manner rules to teach children

1. Wash your hands before eating.
2. Put your napkin in your lap at the beginning of the meal, and don’t forget to use it.
3. Pull in your chair, sit up straight, and keep elbows (and feet!) off the table.
4. Wait to begin eating until everyone is seated and served.
5. Use proper utensils to eat, and cut your food into bite-sized pieces.
6. Ask your neighbor to pass an item on the table rather than reaching across their plate to get it.
7. Chew with your mouth closed, and don’t talk with food in your mouth.
8. Be an active and considerate participant in the conversation.
9. Ask to be excused before leaving the table, and clear your plate. (You may also want to ask your family to load their plates in the dishwasher and clear something extra.)
10. Kiss (I mean thank) the cook.     

Table manners for children of different ages

Teaching table manners is definitely a work in progress—especially as kids grow and start mastering new skills. For the younger crowd, it’s all about the basics, like using a napkin and chewing with their mouth closed. But as they get older, they’ll need to fine-tune their manners, particularly when it comes to social situations. So, as your kids develop, make sure you’re keeping pace by introducing new table rules to match their age and maturity. By laying down the right groundwork at each stage, you’ll help them approach mealtimes with confidence and consideration.

Beyond table manners: teaching empathy

Good table manners aren’t just about following a set of rules—they’re a chance to teach kids important social skills like empathy, consideration, and respect for others. By setting a good example at the table and reinforcing these lessons as your child grows, you’re helping them become socially savvy and able to handle all kinds of situations with grace.

By setting clear expectations and offering gentle reminders, you’re teaching your kids that good manners matter—not just during meals, but in every part of life. Whether they’re at a friend’s house or hosting their own party, the table manners they learn now will serve as the foundation for their future success. For more parenting resources, subscribe to our “Teach. Play. Love” podcast with expert advice from our education team.