Amidst global unrest and uncertainty, the United States finds itself involved in several prominent foreign conflicts. Our national attention toward these conflicts has ebbed and flowed as we have gotten used to this  new normal. But for military families, the realities of war and global conflict are never far from their mind. They know what it’s like to live with worry each day; to be separated from one another for long periods of time; to change living arrangements, jobs, and more with short notice. However, despite the many struggles these families endure, often with less than adequate support resources, they regularly rise to the occasion and show tremendous resilience in the face of adversity. This Veterans Day, we want to take a moment to shine a light on military families, their unique challenges, and ways in which the civilian community at large can support them.  

Understanding the emotional cycle of deployment 

Deployment refers to the strategic movement of military forces. However, for a military family it means a time when their beloved service member must leave them for an extended period to fulfill their duties, both domestic and abroad. There are a few distinct phases of deployment that distinctly impact the wellbeing of those in military families: 

Pre-deployment 

Deployment refers to the strategic movement of military forces. However, for a military family it means a time when their beloved service member must leave them for an extended period to fulfill their duties, both domestic and abroad. There are a few distinct phases of deployment that distinctly impact the wellbeing of those in military families: 

Deployment 

This is the period of time after the service member first departs. It’s often the hardest phase for military families and children. Routines are changing - there's a new carpool or school pick up schedule – the parent at home has more to do and more on their mind, and everyone misses the deployed family member.

Sustainment

Things get a little easier in this phase for military families. New routines are established, everyone has adjusted, and many family members start to feel a sense of, "I can do this!"

Re-deployment

This is the month or so before the deployed family member returns. Stress returns with another impending change in routine, and family members begin to wonder what to expect when the service member returns.

Post-deployment

This is the phase after the service member returns. There is usually a lot of excitement and enthusiasm at the start. Challenges may occur as routines switch again and each military family member tries to work together despite having gone through life changing experiences independent of each other. On average, it takes about a month of time at home for every month deployed to fully adjust.

Ways to support military families

All of us know a military-connected child or family. It’s also important to note that children and families can be impacted by the military without being in a traditional "military family." Whether it’s through relatives, friends, someone in the community, or a neighbor, there are a few things we can all do to support and help the military families and children around us.0

• Offer concrete and specific help to family members that stay behind. Instead of, "Let me know how I can help," offer specifics such as, "I can mow your lawn once a month," or, "I can help for two hours on Saturday. How should we use that time?"
• Let the military family guide conversations about military related topics. The news of conflict overseas can often cause stress and worry. Be mindful of the TV, newspaper, magazines, or conversations that can reinforce worry. At the same time, pretending political or military conflicts don’t existence is unhealthy and unrealistic.
• Treat them like a typical family. Military families need a break from thinking about the military. Just because a parent is deployed, doesn't mean you can't still invite them on a family vacation; just because a parent is overseas doesn't mean they won't want to celebrate the holidays as usual.
• Offer thanks. Being in the military is not lucrative and it's certainly not easy, but military families are proud of who they are. Saying thank you to a young service member, or a mother at home alone with young children, recognizing that what they go through is intended to be a sacrifice for all of us, can make a world of difference.
• Be mindful of the children’s wellbeing. If you see continuous signs of stress on the family or unhealthy behavior from military families (i.e. mom leaving kids home alone, dad getting very angry easily, etc.), make sure you address the issue in a proactive and positive way. Sometimes the parent or caretaker at home needs help to ensure the child gets the support they need. “What Happened to My World?" is a detailed guide with strategies to support children and families through stressful times.
• Welcome military families or children to your community. Military families often have to move and cope with change: new schools, sports teams, friends, houses, and more. Each person who interacts with a child in a military family can make it easier by asking, "What are you used to?" or "How did you do it before?" rather than expecting them to always change and conform. Go out of your way to welcome a military family or child to your community.

What we can learn from military families

Military families are required to be more versatile than most other families. Think about it -- many people feel stress when their spouse is out of town for a week, let alone a year. For most, it seems unthinkable to have to miss your child's birthday or even birth, but military families cope with these challenges on a regular basis. There is a lot to learn about resilience and how to handle change and challenge from the many military families around us. 
And as always, thank you so much to the brave men and women and their families who have served and continue to serve our country every day.