Beginning toilet learning with your child is a huge step in their development. Congrats! The ultimate reward of having a child who can successfully use the toilet doesn’t come without it’s challenges. Toilet learning accidents can and will happen, and are part of the process. The most important thing you can remember is that your child is still learning and developing. They are relying on your gentle guidance and support throughout this toilet learning journey.

Here are a few quick, basic tips for toilet learning success:

Dressing Your Child for Success

Overalls and pants with buttons are often difficult for children to master when they’re rushing to the bathroom. Try dressing your child in clothes that are easy to pull up or down, pants with elastic-waist pants tend to work for everyone. Sweats are also a great toilet learning choice. They absorb more of the mess during accidents, so there is less for you to clean off the floor. Sweats are also easy to wash, and your child will be able to get them off quickly, too.

Making It to the Bathroom in Time

Sometimes your child will tell you, “I have to go. I have to go.”  But somehow their feet just won’t move.  Say, “Hurry to the toilet and I’ll count how long it takes you to go.” Now start counting.  At least if the accident is in the bathroom, it’s easier to clean up than one on the carpet.

If your child is doing the “pee pee dance”, unable to talk without wiggling around or folded in some contorted position, they probably have to go. Don’t even ask.  “Do you have to go to the bathroom?”  You’ll lose too much time.  Take your child by the hand, head for the facilities and sing, “Let’s go to the bathroom”.  Any tune will do.

Too Many Accidents?

If your child is continually having accidents and rarely making it to the toilet, perhaps your child is not yet ready to start toilet learning. Try diapers or pull-ups again, and continue to watch for signs that they are ready. You can still encourage them to tell you when they need a change. This way they are letting you know that they have gone and that’s the first step in learning. Your child has to recognize that they have “done it” and to learn to “hold it”.

Also, if your child seems frustrated or you get upset, it is time to pause. It won’t confuse your child if you stop and start again when they’re ready or when you’re ready. Sometimes a few months or even weeks can make the learning process happen almost effortlessly overnight. 

Situational Accidents

When your child is tense about things that are happening in their life, such as a new home, or sibling, they may have more accidents. That’s normal. When life smooths out, so will the accidents. 

If your child is having lots of accidents when they start preschool or child care, it may be that they are anxious about the new situation. Or, it may just be that they don’t know how to ask to go to the bathroom or are embarrassed to tell the teacher and/or go to the bathroom around other children. Talk to your child’s teacher.

Remember, you are not alone in your toilet learning struggles! Every parent goes through it. Remind yourself “this too shall pass”.