When it comes to raising children, many parents have more in common than they might realize. In fact, there is enough similarity that researchers like Dr. Diana Baumrind have tried to group parents into four types of parenting styles.

The Baumrind parenting styles are United States-centric, and it is not clear how well they describe parents cross-culturally. Each parenting style varies in at least four areas: discipline, communication, nurturance, and expectations. 

What are the four parenting styles?

Authoritarian parenting

Authoritarian parents are often thought of as disciplinarians.

• They use a strict discipline style with little negotiation possible. Punishment is common. 
• Communication is mostly one way: from parent to child. Rules are not usually explained.
• Parents with this style are typically less nurturing.
• Expectations are high with limited flexibility.

An example of authoritarian parenting is when a child may ask their parent to play outside after dinner, and the parent immediately refuses the request without explanation, using a stern tone to demand obedience. A response to this request may sound like, “No, it’s too late.” If the child were to respond with “But, why?” A response may sound like, “Because I said so... You need to go to bed,” with no real empathizing, discussion, or negotiation permitted. 

Permissive parenting

Permissive or indulgent parents mostly let their children do what they want and offer limited guidance or direction. They are more like friends than parents.

• Their discipline style is the opposite of strict. They have limited or no rules and mostly let children figure problems out on their own. 
• Communication is open but these parents let children decide for themselves rather than giving direction.
• Parents in this category tend to be warm and nurturing.      
• Expectations are typically minimal or not set by these parents. 

One example of this type of parenting is when a child throws a tantrum in the grocery store because they want a toy, and the permissive parent buys the toy to stop the tantrum. Rather than setting limits or helping the child understand their emotions, the parent prioritizes their child’s happiness and avoids conflict, even if it means sacrificing structure and guidance.  

Uninvolved parenting

Uninvolved parents give children a lot of freedom and generally stay out of their way. Some parents may make a conscious decision to parent this way, while others are less interested in parenting or unsure of what to do. 

• No particular discipline style is utilized. An uninvolved parent lets a child mostly do what they want, probably out of a lack of information or caring. 
• Communication is limited.
• This group of parents offers little nurturing. 
• There are few or no expectations of children. 

For example, a young child is struggling with a puzzle and begins to cry. Their parent, absorbed in their phone, glances up briefly and says “You’re okay, figure it out,” and returns to their device. The child continues to cry, but the parent offers no further assistance or comfort, demonstrating a lack of responsiveness, interest, and emotional warmth. 

Authoritative parenting

What is authoritative parenting? Authoritative parents are reasonable and nurturing and set clear expectations and healthy limits. Children with parents who demonstrate this style tend to grow up to have higher self-esteem, better emotional regulation, and stronger school performance. This style is believed to be most beneficial to children. 

• There is positive discipline. Rules are clear and the reasons behind them are explained. 
• Communication is frequent and appropriate to the child’s level of understanding. 
• Authoritative parents are nurturing and warm. 
• Expectations and goals are high but stated clearly. Children may have input into goals. 

An example of authoritative parenting would be when a young child wants to watch TV instead of eat dinner, and the parent responds by saying, “It’s time to eat dinner now. We eat dinner together as a family. I know you want to watch TV, and it’s important to eat first. You can choose between chicken and pasta for dinner.” This approach balances firm limits with warmth and understanding. Clear expectations are set and consistently enforced, while the child’s feelings are acknowledged, and choices are offered.  

What is my parenting style?

While you may hear of other different parenting styles in the news, such as helicopter parenting, tiger parenting, or free-range parenting, many of these philosophies are extensions of Baumrind’s research-based parenting styles outlined above. Few of us fit neatly into one single parenting style, but rather, raise children using a combination of styles. Think of the four types of parenting styles psychology as a continuum instead of four distinct ways to parent. Ideally, parents can tweak their parenting style based on their children’s needs.  

How parenting styles affect growth and development

• Relationships. We know from research that parenting does impact children. Research shows us that the quality of the relationship between parent and child has a huge impact on brain development—the actual architecture of children’s brains is influenced by parenting. Numerous studies have found that secure, healthy parent-child relationships impact children’s stress levels, social-emotional development, and even academic success. The work of parenting is figuring out how to have a warm, high-quality relationship with your child while also creating rules and expectations. This takes time, practice, patience, and willingness to course correct when things are not working. 

• Temperament. Every person is born with a unique way of approaching the world—their temperament. Research indicates that a combination of family influence and genetic disposition affects how people approach and respond to situations. Temperament includes our activity level, emotional intensity, and mood, how we react to new places, transitions, or changes, and our level of focus and persistence. In some cases, children and parents are similar in temperament and share many of the same reactions, perceptions, or opinions. At other times, children and parents may differ. In these cases, parents might need to adjust their expectations. As adults, we’re responsible for the quality and success of our relationships with children. Once we have insight into our temperament and our child’s temperament, we can learn to prepare children and plan or alter the environment, as well as our actions and reactions, to create a “goodness of fit.” 

The Baumrind parenting styles offer a starting point for understanding how you generally parent. From there, you can individualize your style for you and your child, creating a “goodness of fit” that prioritizes strong relationships, clear communication, and effective rules and guidance. 

Can you change your parenting style?

Many parents find themselves questioning their methods of parenting and seeking a more positive, effective way to connect with their children. The authoritative parenting style can provide a framework for fostering strong, healthy relationships while setting clear boundaries. Remember, authoritative parenting is not about perfection but about creating a supportive environment where children feel loved, understood, and guided. It is never too late to embark on the journey of enhancing and enriching your parent-child relationship.

Webinar: getting to know your parenting style

When it comes to different parenting styles, we all know that one size doesn’t fit all. So how can you ensure your parenting style is helping your child to thrive? Access the Bright Horizons® family webinar to find out.